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Featured Article

"An Excerpt from "Midlife Dating Manual for Women"

Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach

MUSTARD, MAYO, CUT THE PICKLES

Trust radius, an EQ competency, suggests trusting someone until you have been proven wrong, but you don’t want to damage yourself in the process. Midlife dating has its perils, and if you’ve been out of the dating world for some time, you’ll need a refresher course.

First of all, you have to know what you want, because, like the wall of pantyhose or cheeses you stare at in the supermarket, there are now 500 choices, where there used to be three. Okay, two if you were Catholic. But today you can “have it your way,” and you can’t imagine what this means to some men!

So when you get to the drive-in window, know what you want. Companionship without commitment? Is that with or without sex? Do you want long-term and sex? Is that with or without commitment? Friend with benefits? Benefits without friendship? Marriage? Is that marriage with or without fidelity? (What do you mean “Am I kidding?”)

Nearly two thirds of the 27,000,000 singles over the age of 50 in the US say they don’t date because they prefer being single, and 9% say they would not date ever, under any circumstances, so you can’t assume anything.

You need to know your own expectations and goals, to find out those of the man you’re dating, and then get some definitions of the terms. This is why you communicate, and don’t be shy! The heart you save could be your own.

Most men will say what they want without beating around the bush. But they don’t volunteer it (why use words until you have to?), you must ask.

Martha asked Rob about marriage after they’d been dating a while, and he replied, “Oh, one woman would never be enough for me.” Martha was then sure she was the woman who would be. She wasn’t listening. Whenever he told her he’d never met anyone like her, her wishful thinking interpreted that to mean “…and so I’ll be one he’ll be faithful to.”

Guess what? She was wrong.

Barring the incorrigible sociopath, men d